Where all my sacrifices have gone to
by oOoMyAchingHeartoOo
Summary: I was so happy.I'm gonna meet him again.Well I always meet him.But I don't know why.I'm always happy when I see him.But this...It's different
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

AMY

I was running. Running so happily towards a certain blue hedgehog. As I was running, his body came into view. With so much enthusiasm, I ran faster to him.

"Sonic". I screamed happily in my mind. That gorgeous guy is the person I fell in love with since the first time I saw him. I'm just so surprised that the morning I woke up I wanted to see him.I know I can be stubborn and persistic sometimes but that's only because I'm in love.I know and I've thought about it.I I was running. Running so happily towards a certain blue hedgehog. As I was running, his body came into view. With so much enthusiasm, I ran faster to him.

'The heck am I standing out here for?' I said in my mind as I notice that Sonic has already noticed my presence.I don't think he knows it's me so it's okay.

"Sonic!" I yelled out happily. After hearing he's named being called, he turned to look at me. It was on a normal look but after a few seconds, it became dull. I was taken aback by how he looked at me.

Gathering my courage, I walked closer to him and put my palm on his forehead. "Hey, what's the matter?" I asked, worrying. Not only was I worried I'm curious as hell too.

But before I could even do anything, he quickly slapped my hand away. My eyes widened at his sudden action. He stepped back and said on a mysterious voice I never thought he would ever use on me, "What are you doing here?"

I didn't care of what he is saying. Even though he's like that to me, I still can't help but love him. I hugged him tightly. "Don't you ever ask that. Everyday, I want to tell you about what I feel for you. About how much I care and how much I love you. "I smiled even though I'm hurting inside.

I let go of him and looked at him sincerely. But even though all of that what I said, he still has those dull eyes looking at me. As much as how it pierces through me, I still love him. I thought of something about, 'Why would he look at me like that?' .I was so curious so my mouth began to move unconsciously. "What is wrong with you?" I asked unconsciously.

He smirked. "You want to know the truth? "I nodded my head. He looked at me seriously.  
>"Well the truth is, I want you to go somewhere else to live in."<br>"But why?" I asked. By asking that, I never realized that it was a wrong move. He looked at me straight in the eyes with those dull eyes of his.

"Don't you understand? I want you outta here! I want you out of my life!" He screamed with full of anger. That isn't the truth. "I don't think that's what you have in mind" I told him. 'Amy you can do it! I kept on telling myself that what he was saying was the opposite of what he really wanted to say.

But Sonic, by judging the look he has now, it doesn't show any other emotion besides anger and frustration. I'm really trying not to cry right now.

I went closer to him and caressed his face. "Please don't tell me this is the truth really. "He grabbed my hand and twisted it.

I fell on to the hard ground. 'Don't give up Amy. Give it your last push. I know you can do it! '

If my conscience isn't here with me, I would surely have a break down right now.

I stood up and cleaned the dust on my skirt. I inhaled deeply and smiled. But he wasn't finished yet ,I was so shocked at the last thing that he said.  
>"Aren't you tired of running all day? Chasing after me. I mean get a life! It's not like your whole world only revolves around me! I don't like you and will NEVER like you! He spat out disgustingly.<p>

I know that my tears are gonna fall any minute now. I know it hurts but I won't cry because if I cry it will make him more satisfied and I would cry a lot harder.

With the last strength I have, I gave him my last response.

"Is this where you're getting at? Is this it?!.I shouted unable to hide the pain I'm feeling.

"Well I'm VERY sorry for loving you! I'm sorry that I was stupid enough to let myself fall for you! "

And with that said, I turned around and was ready to leave but turned back and added, "I'm sorry for wasting my whole life on you"

After that last statement ,I ran. Away from Sonic. I ran to my house. The tears are falling like rain now.

It's just that it hurts so much! Doesn't he know that I'm tired too?!But I know…I know that I'm dumb enough to know that he'll ever care.

I slammed the door shut and locked myself on my room. Falling down to my knees, I hugged them tightly. "I am so stupid! "I yelled. I went to a mountain that night and screamed at the top of my lungs.

"I AM SO IDIOTIC!KAMI-SAMA,PLEASE HELP ME!

After crying I ran back to my room. And vowed to myself. "I promise that when I wake up tomorrow, I will not cry anymore! Even if I will see Sonic with another girl! But I stopped as I cried about the last statement I said. With all the crying and frustrations, I changed into my panjama and went straight for bed. 'I can sleep right?'

After praying to Kami-sama, I let myself fall asleep into an uncomfortable and dreamless sleep. I let the last teardrop fall to my cheek

While sleeping for approximately three hours, I heard something from my kitchen. ''What was that?'' I said while picking up my hammer and went downstairs to the kitchen.

"Who are you?!" I said to no one in particular. I quickly searched for it. It was no longer in the kitchen. I went to the living room and searched for it. As I was searching, someone hugged me tightly from behind and covered my mouth.

I looked at the mystery person. He had blue fur and looked like a certain blue hedgehog that I know."Mmm!" I muttered out. "Be quiet!" The person whom I assume Sonic is, said.

After several minutes, he released me from his grasp. I can now breath on a normal condition. I looked at him but I can't see him because it's too dark.

I went for the lights and turned it on. I walked back and saw the blue furred person.

"S-Sonic? What are you doing here?" I asked. I'm not terrified because I can kick anyone's butt so easily. But Sonic, the guy I cried for and the same guy who broke my heart. I don't even understand. I don't even know why I had the courage to face him when all he did was look at me disgustingly. I always remember.

Every time, when I hug him, when he saves me and when I only look at him, all of it, is only fake. I was nothing more but a burden to him.

I smiled. All I did was chase him. I didn't even asked, didn't even know how he felt. But at times, he still have that smile that makes me wanna cry. How can he do this?

How can he manage to smile when he always have me on his back? I didn't even realized that he was hurting because of me. I felt something liquid that's falling from my eyes. I realized that the tears were falling.

I was so selfish. I can't forgive myself. Now, he's here in front of me. I smiled and hugged him tight. I don't care if he won't hug me back. I don't care if I'm hurting.

All of a sudden, I felt a pair of hands made their way to my waist. I was shocked at his action but tried not to show it. "Amy, I'm sorry" He said sincerely.

"Stop, don't tell me your sorry. Because I already know that it's my fault." I know everything is my fault. From the first day I was sure I fell for him till now.

"I know that when I'm with you, you are always hurting because I know that I'm a burden." Don't say that. You're my friend and I think something came over me and I didn't mean to tell you those words. " He said sincerely.

Yep, he's convincing alright but I don't know. I looked deeply into those beautiful green eyes of his. It showed only love and passion. I can't believe this. Of all the things he said.  
><strong><br>**I sighed. How stupid can I get and how kinder can this guy get? "I don't believe you! Can't you see? That your only being a faker again! Just like what Shadow said!"


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

I took a step back. Closing my eyes, I felt him hug me tight. I opened my eyes, I saw him smirking . He pushed me roughly on the still wall. " You want proof? Then I'll give you proof " He snaked his arm on my waist and kissed me roughly but passionately.

My eyes widened. Because here in front of me is the guy who broke my heart and is the same guy who's kissing me. My tears were falling. Not only was I shocked but I was sad. Things were happening so fast.

How can he kiss me? How? I don't believe such things. After what he said?

*Sighs* I'm tired… Tired…. TIRED

I pushed him away from me and wiped my lips. Now I am the person with the dull eyes.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU BASTARD!" I screamed to the top of my voice

All those years I've wasted. I've wasted my energy,my breath, my whole just for him to appreciate my presence, just for him to even a little, like me. Yeah, I know. I can be always a lungy person. Always being obsessed and addicted to him but yeah, people have spaces too so It's **clearly my fault**

"Hey…" Sonic called out.

"I said, GET OUT" pointing my index finger to the door

"Okay…"

He went out and slammed the door. I breathed heavily and went to get my inhaler.  
>Pressed it two times so that I can be in a normal state of breathing.<p>

I sighed then smiled sadly. I remember my favorite song that I've always sang for Sonic.

_Our world is under a spell_

_Even the excitement of our love is sealed in our tears_

_Boy, let's go together to find that charm,_

_To the land of where forbidden dreams may come true._

_Alone, tomorrow, let's secretly meet_

_Up on the hill where small birds are buried_

_Some day, when I hold your hand in the cold morning mist_

_And the seal of the shining road will be broken_

_Forever_

_I didn't wish to get heartbroken so I hid my feelings_

_I was happy, for you gave me that smile._

_Boy, give me courage_

_To make everything that happened zero._

_Let's kiss quietly in secret_

_Like a old picture book we're unable to read_

_When the wind blows in the morning dew_

_The shining road will strech on forever_

_Always_

_Callin'you_

_Callin' you_

_Calling out your name in a sad night_

_Callin' you_

_That will be the key to break the enchantment of the world_

_Alone, tomorrow, let's secretly meet_

_On the hill where we can the future of everyone's journeys_

_Someday, when I walk with you in the cold morning mist_

_The shining road will stretch on forever_

_Always_

I didn't notice that my phone was ringing.  
><em>Standing by my window, listening for your call <em>

_Seems I really miss you after all_

_Time won't let me keep these sad thoughts to myself_

_I'd just like to let you know, I wish I'd never let you go_

_And I'll always love you_

_Deep inside this heart of mine I do love you_

_And I'll always need you And if you ever change your mind I'll still, I will love you_

_I wish you'd never left me but love's a mystery_

_You can break a heart so easily_

_Oh the days and nights reveal how much I feel for you_

_Time has come for me to see how much your love has meant to me_

_And I'll always love you And if you ever change your mind I'll still, I will love you_

_Time like a river keeps on rolling right on by_

_Nothing left for me to do So I watch the river rise_

_And I'll always love you_

_Deep inside this heart of mine I do love you_

_And I'll always need you And if you ever change your mind I'll still, I will_

_And I'll still, I will love you_

__I checked it. It became a fricking missed call =.=

It's from mom. I have 5 text messages too. I opened my inbox and scanned through the messages.

"Honey, come here. Live me for a while''

"Honey, please. Just for a while"

"Honey, I have brain tumor''

"Honey I need you''

"I'm sorry"

Then another case. You see when I was young, I didn't know that she has an affair with another guy. But my father did not know a thing about it so what I did was collect all my evidences and showed it to father.

Now, every night she gets punishment from father and she blames me for what I did.  
>But heck, it wasn't my fault she has an affair. Father has to know it somehow, right?<p>

And now.. Mother blames me for what she did. She's so selfish. She only thinks of herself. She only thinks of her own pain. That's why when I was young I sang _BECAUSE OF YOU by KELLY CLARKSON_

She didn't care for how I felt when I knew about the affair shit. Sometimes I wonder why I was born? Now I realize that I was only born to feel all my mother's pain. She intended to make me just to let me guilty that I was born.

She's selfish,insensitive.

*Sighs* I hate her. I mean, she has two options:

Option#1 Give me up

Option#2 Bore Me

She tells me that if I hadn't been born she'll have a good future. Then why bother bore me if I am that of a hindrance to her.

And now, she says sorry and has brain tumor.

FORGIVE AND FORGET.

I always forgive, not forget because things and experiences like that not only makes me strong but it makes me cry. I can't believe it! She had the nerve to bore me and now she's blaming me that I was born! Can you believe that!?

I texted back. "K,sure mom. Be there in a few hours''

I packed my things and prepared myself for a snack. CHEESE SANDWICH and ORANGE JUICE UMMMH!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Honey, I have brain tumor''

"Honey I need you''

"I'm sorry"

Then another case. You see when I was young, I didn't know that she has an affair with another guy. But my father did not know a thing about it so what I did was collect all my evidences and showed it to father.

Now, every night she gets punishment from father and she blames me for what I did.  
>But heck, it wasn't my fault she has an affair. Father has to know it somehow, right?<p>

And now.. Mother blames me for what she did. She's so selfish. She only thinks of herself. She only thinks of her own pain. That's why when I was young I sang _BECAUSE OF YOU by KELLY CLARKSON_

She didn't care for how I felt when I knew about the affair shit. Sometimes I wonder why I was born? Now I realize that I was only born to feel all my mother's pain. She intended to make me just to let me guilty that I was born.

She's selfish,insensitive.

*Sighs* I hate her. I mean, she has two options:

Option#1 Give me up

Option#2 Bore Me

She tells me that if I hadn't been born she'll have a good future. Then why bother bore me if I am that of a hindrance to her.

And now, she says sorry and has brain tumor.

FORGIVE AND FORGET.

I always forgive, not forget because things and experiences like that not only makes me strong but it makes me cry. I can't believe it! She had the nerve to bore me and now she's blaming me that I was born! Can you believe that!?

I texted back. "K,sure mom. Be there in a few hours''

I packed my things and prepared myself for a snack. CHEESE SANDWICH and ORANGE JUICE UMMMH!

I devoured my food happily while humming a tune. The next comes the orange juice. UMM..  
>It's so cold and hits the right spot. I was like, "I love you ICE BABY, rape JUST KIDDING.<p>

I went out of my house and waved goodbye to it. Wishing I would never see it again because of that guy, Sonic too many memories, I really have to forget.

I went to the train and put on my earphones. Hello, Earphone World, comes the music playing.

REFLECTIONS

Reflections of your love have come to wither  
>I thought I'd done my best to realize<br>A picture fades of you and I together  
>I haven't come to terms with how we said goodbye<p>

Did you really care  
>Care at all for me?<br>Did you really care  
>Did you care at all for me?<p>

A displaced little girl wept years in silence  
>And whispered wishes you'd materialize<br>She pressed on night and day to keep on living  
>And tried so many ways to keep her soul alive<p>

Did you really care  
>Care enough for me?<br>Did you really care  
>Did you care at all for me?<p>

If I'm not quite good enough  
>Or somehow undeserving of a mother's love<br>You could have had the decency to give me up  
>Before you gave me life<p>

Don't you even care  
>Just the slightest little bit for me<br>'Cause I really need to feel you cared  
>Even once upon a time for me<br>I need to believe  
>In my heart of heart of hearts, you care for me<br>I need to understand  
>Why you left me there so helplessly<p>

Don't you even care  
>Care at all for me?<p>

Reflections of your love have come to wither  
>I thought I'd done my best to memorize<p>

It made me cry, not knowing someone was tapping my back, comforting me, was a girl, quite my age.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

"Hey, are you alright?" She said, looking worriedly

"Yeah, I am" I replied hazily and continued on the next song

_I can't believe it so sweet  
>Another love song<br>You are my love song  
>I'm falling for you so just come and get me<em>

_Oh love, don't let me down_

I giggled and was blushing furiously while listening to this song. I thought there was another drama song yet I was wrong again.

"My name's Shane, you?" The girl asked while looking at me in the eyes

"It's Amy. A pleasure to meet you" I smiled

"You too, where you going?"

"To Nagoya, on my Mom's"

"Oh, well me too! At Nagoya Picnick street, come by at any time though!" She smiled heavenly

Woah, how she smile like that? Don't she have a problem in life? Well, at least she doesn't. Oh how I envy.  
>I checked the time on my phone and realized that I still have 4 hours to travel.<p>

Well then, time to sleep. I need my beauty sleep. Wew, I need to sleep for the passing time.

I woke up groggily and looked around, realizing the train has stopped, I went down and went to a taxi carrying my bags with me.

I told the driver the place where I'll be staying, as we ride, I heard something on the radio.

"I would like to request a special song for this girl named, Anna"

Hmm, what a lucky girl. After the guy talked, some song played that made my adrenaline boost.

_My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kind of homesick  
>Too much pressure and I'm nervous<br>And the DJ dropped my favorite tune  
>And a Britney song was on<br>And the Britney song was on(x2)_

_So I put my hands up  
>They're playin' My Song<br>The butterflies fly away  
>Noddin' my head like yeah<br>Movin' my hips like yeah  
>I got my hands up<br>They're playing my song_

_I know I'm gonna be ok  
>Yeah It's a party in the USA<br>Yeah It's a party in the USA_

WHAAACCCKKKK! I punched the person in front me hard. I didn't even realized that I was dreaming!  
>Oh yeah, =_= I fell asleep in the taxi cab.<p>

"I am so sorry mr. driver, we are here now please pull the car." I told him politely

"It's fine, just don't do it again and give me a huge tip!" The mean driver side.

I got off the cab and gave him that huge tip I owe him. Sheesh, so much for being polite in saying sorry.

I knocked three times on the door and came to see a good looking guy in front of me.  
>My childhood best friend, Scourge.<p>

"Well, hello there sexy thing" he winked sexily at me

"Argh, it's a tiring day Scourge, don't add your obviously annoying face n it" in a tired voice, I said

Scourge helped me with my things up to my room as I walk to the living room seeing my mother already expecting me there.

"Well, hello honey, how are you?" Mom asked with a smile

"It's been a so exhausting day, may I go to my room now to rest?" I asked politely.

"Okay, sure honey. We'll talk tomorrow."

I excused myself and left the living room. I went upstairs and changed in my panjamas seeing Scourge looking absolutely annoying while posting on the door.

"Don't you know it's rude when someone's changing and you come in feeling carefree" I told him, looking away feeling absurd.

I finished changing and felt him come closer and closer. I closed my eyes and waited for something to come but it didn't come. I turned around and saw him standing in front of me.

"What?" I asked

He looked at me in a mysterious look and began.

"How are you?"

"Fine" I said plainly

"How is that guy?" he asked as our eyes meet.

No, not him again. I have no time for this I need to move on and maybe Scourge can be the way so that I can forget about everything, every hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

"Not, right now please. I'm too tired for that" I said looking away, avoiding the question and hopping on my bed.

As the sleepiness came over me, I drifted into a sweet slumber.

_"I was supposed to say yes"_

_"I was supposed to say yes"_

_"But then he came along and changed my mind"_

UWAAAAH! What was that!? I hate nightmares! I checked my phone and it read, 02: 00 am  
>Darn it! It's too dark still!<p>

I wanna sleep again! Hmpft! I covered my whole body with my long and comfy blanket and was easily drifted into a slumber.

_"Hey, give me back my balloon!" screamed a little girl running for her balloon._

_"Not until you answer this important question I have! You have to say yes!" The boy said with a smile_

_ "What is it?" The girl asked innocently_

_The boy went down on one knee, holding up a ring and saying, "I know that we are too young but if you would give me a chance, I would be the best husband and I will love you for the rest of my life! This I ask, will you marry me?"_

_I was supposed to say yes but then someone came into view, another boy._

_"You know you two are too young for that, right?" The boy said _

_I looked at him feeling shivery but he felt my uncomfortableness so he talked_

_"It's Sonic, yours?" with a smirk_

_"Amy, and this is Scourge." I said while pointing at Scourge_

_We then hangout for a couple of times and I felt myself grow more closer to him than to Scourge._

_And just like that, I fell in love with Sonic. I was supposed to say yes but now, here I am. I'm hurt because of that guy._

_I should've said yes more earlier than meeting him so I can be locked on Scourge, unable to feel the hurt I feel now because of Sonic._

_"I was supposed to say yes"_

_"I was supposed to say yes"_

_I've spent all my life  
>On a search to find<br>The love who'll stay for eternity  
>That heaven scent to fulfill my needs<br>But when I turned around  
>Again love has knocked me down<br>My heart is broken  
>Oh, it hurts so bad<br>I'm sad to say love wins again_

_So I place my heart under  
>lock and key<br>To take some time and take  
>care of me<br>But I turn around and your  
>standing here<em>

_How did you get here?  
>Nobody's supposed to be here<br>I've tried that love thing for the last time  
>My heart says no, no!<br>Nobody's supposed to be here  
>But you came along and<br>changed my mind_

_I knew that from the first time, Scourge has been in love with me. At least when I'm with him I won't be able to hurt unlike that Sonic._

_I just wonder, how Scourge feels every time I mention Sonic's name and how I cry because of him._

I woke up feeling so guilty, I went closer to my mirror door and saw how guilty and ugly I was. I cleaned my face on the washroom and even combed my hair, tying it into a tight ponytail.

I immediately went downstairs to the dining room due to the aroma I've been smelling.  
>Hmm, I wonder what's for breakfast?<p>

BACON N CHEESE! WEW WEW WEW! I walked faster and saw mom and Scourge already there.

"Good morning honey, take a seat"

"Yeah, seat beside me sexy thing" He said with a smirk

So early Scourge! You make my day bright, really! SARCASM. I went to seat beside him and ate my food looking not in the mood.

Mom saw me and asked me what was wrong.

"What's wrong honey?"

"Oh, nothing, mom" It's that freaking bastard, Scourge =.=

As I finish my food, I burped. So abashed, I began to wash the dishes hurriedly but was stopped by mom's announcement.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

"Melissa, Scourge's mom and I have been thinking, we would like to arrange you two in a marriage when you are completely 18 but not now that you two are still 15. You'll have plenty of time to develop your feelings for each other then there would be no problem with you two being married"

At first I was shocked, WHHAAAATATTTTATATTT?!

But as I was thinking, I went to realize that this a good chance of falling in love again and forgetting about that guy

"Okay" I plainly replied and went hurriedly to my room. After a few minutes, someone knocked on the door.

I asked who it is but only got no answer. So I opened it. Revealing no one. Was that a prank? So, over it. In annoyance I shut the door and locked it

Turning around , I saw Scourge laying comfortable on my bed. Oh, the nerve! I put my hand on my waist and asked

"What are you doing laying on my bed?!"

"We need to talk"

I stopped looking at him and then proceeded on the busy streets of Nagoya. I know he's following me, I just know it. I hurried more more faster until I came to a dead end.

"Why, hello there. What a fine and sexy looking girl. Wanna have some fun?" The man on his thirties' said with a smirk

"No, go away" I hushed him dangerously

Looks like the man wasn't buying it so I just screamed for my life as the man goes closer and closer to my body.

"Don't worry, we are just gonna have some fun" the man said, nearing itself to me as I feel it's stinky breath.

He touched my hand and was about to touch my body but was immediately knocked on the floor unconsciously.

I looked at the person behind all my savior was him. Scourge. I felt myself gulp as he went near to me, pushing me softly and pressing me on the hard and cold wall.

"I told you, we need to talk" He said in a serious tone

"What is it about?" I asked as I hacchooed in front of him, making him swear.

"You have a cold"

"Yeah"

"We need to get you home"

"K, sure"

"Hop on my back"

"Piggy-back ride?" I asked while pouting cutely

"Yeah, what else?"

"Oh, nothing" I said as hopped on his back

We ran and ran fast through the streets of Nagoya. Or maybe it was only him and I was only on the back, riding him and enjoying myself C=

"YAAAY! FASTER!"

"You are way being too childish" He said

I poke his back, "I don't care as long as you're with me."

"Hmm?"

"Wahh, nevermind"

At last, we are now inside of the house. And to the exact timing, mom and aunt Melissa was in there having a tea and a conversation.

"How about the two? Are they fine?" aunt Melissa said

We both looked at them and smiled, not realizing that I was still hopped on his back.  
>Aunt Melissa walked around us and smiled at her son.<p>

"Good job, son"

I looked at myself, realizing I was still on his back. I poked him. "Let me off you"

I blushed furiously and looked down feeling abashed

"Oh, no need to be embarrassed my dear, in fact , you two are gonna be married soon so, better to develop your feelings for each other" she winked at me and made me blush like crazy

"I-I must go now and rest at my room, good night to all of you" I excused myself and ran in lightning bolt speed to my room and locked it.

I changed into my panjamas and slipped through my blanket and rested. Before sleeping, I looked at my cellphone if there were messages. Saw one

_"Good night, sexy thing. See you tomorrow on your bedroom ;)"_

Uhh, to sleepy, to , care, about, shitty, asshole, bastard, must, sleep, now. "Good night Amy" I talked to myself and in a few minutes, I fell asleep while hugging my marshie pillow.

_A girl in a white dress was singing. She was singing her soul out. Oh, how beautiful her voice is, singing for the guy that's important to her and will always be a light to her life._


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

_Everybody needs inspiration  
>Everybody needs a song<br>A beautiful melody  
>When the night's so long<br>Cause there is no guarantee  
>That this life is easy<em>

_When my world is falling apart  
>And there's no life to break down the door<br>That's when I look at you_

_When the waves are flooding the shore  
>And I can't find my way home anymore<br>That's when I look at you_

_When I look at you  
>I see forgiveness<br>I see the truth  
>You've loved me for who I am<br>Like the stars hold the moon  
>Right there where they belong<br>And I know I'm not alone_

_When my world is falling apart  
>And there's no life to break down the door<br>That's when I look at you  
>When the waves are flooding the shore<br>And I can't find my way home anymore  
>That's when I look at you<em>

I opened my eyes. Looking at the ceiling and breathing heavily. I screamed his name.

"S-S-SCOURGE!"

Making him running through my door and banging hard on it, guy's worried

"What's wrong? Are you alright?"

I opened it. Letting him see that I need an inhaler now, lucky thing, he has one. I pressed it two times. It made me feel fresh and able to breathe in a normal state again

"Thanks" I smiled

"No problem"

"SO, about that talk"

"What about?"

"Him"

"SO?"

"Are you fine?"

"Yeah"

"How about the arranged marriage?"

"Yeah"

"You're not hurting anymore?" he looked at me worriedly

"No"

_Guilt_

Why is it that every time I see that worried face, it makes me wanna feel more guilty? I didn't know that all my life he's been loving me since we were kids.

Why did I even met Sonic ? If I haven't met him then I wouldn't be feeling so guilty that I wanna cry all day, week, more like endless.

"Alright, if you need me just text or call me, okay?"

"Yeah, sure"

He went out, waving. Making my guilt even more deeper and deeper. I wanna cry, as I reach to his leaving figure, I mouthed the words, "I'm sorry"

I was right. He didn't hear me because I was too mute. I went to the rooftop and began to close my eyes.

It's so peaceful here. Just as peaceful as I am. I can feel my soul flowing.  
>I remember how I loved Sonic. I never even knew how hurt Scourge was when I was always Sonic this Sonic that.<p>

I wanna say sorry for how much I've caused pain to him. I'm so sorry. I was supposed to say yes. I'll make it up to you. I promise, I'll love you.

The next day, I texted Scourge to come to my room because I'm in the mood to cuddle and snuggle. A snuggly and cuddly wuggly person, me C=.

He came inside my room and on my bed. We looked at each others eyes for a minute. After looking, I felt myself being mesmerized by his eyes and I saw his lips, I don't know why but I had the urge to kiss him.

Not that I will but I just smiled. Great, a way to be able to make it up for him. An opportunity to fall inlove a gain too.

"What?" He began

"I love you" I said out of the blue and unconsciously

"Love yah too, BFF!" He acted like a gay person

WHAT!? Is he gay? Maybe he turned gay because of me. No!


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 9

Oh, my gosh. I'm so fricking embarrassed to even look at him in the eye. I felt Shane whisper something in my ear, "Go get him" With a wink

After a few, Shane left because of some errands.

Now I'm left here, in this room, with him, that gay, AWKWARD =_=

"Hey"

"W-What?"

"I heard about your conversation" I heard him talk and it seems like he doesn't like it.

"What a-about it?"

"I heard something, unnerving." He said as he close himself to me making me feel nervous.

"Oh, it's about the love thing?"

I knew it. He was thinking about that thing. When will he learn to love me? His opposite sex? I have a long way to do

"Yeah, it feels weird and uncomfortable"

"That's just because I want you to change your mind about being hopelessly devoted to a same gender."

"Whatever, it just feels weird. Help me?"

"Sure" I answered without even thinking

"What's the first step?" he asked as he neared his face on mine.

"Hmm, we've already done that though, the kissing part"

"Let's try it again" I heard his voice become gayish

I rolled my eyes on him and told him to be ready.  
>I neared my face on his, ready to kiss him<p>

"Close your eyes" I quietly said as I close mine

He gladly closed his own and let my lips meet his. I kissed him for a few seconds then we parted, breathing a bit heavily.

"Go." I told him

"Sure, another day" He said as he left

I touched my lips as if I still feel he's own lips on mine. It was a great feeling but I have to focus on my mission! NOT FALL IN LOVE!

What's the next mission though? Hmm, I don't know, flirt? Whatever, not that I'm getting interested with this thing. =_=

I went at the terrace to see how good the view is. Oh, what a view. I remembered how I met Scourge. I remembered how I was supposed to say yes.

How guilty I was. How I never knew that I was getting to an arranged marriage with a gay that I should help turn and be a guy, even though I know he doesn't like me.

Maybe all of this are fake. All of this. No, I don't want him to be fake. I've always remembered.

FLASHBACK

_I was going to see Scourge because Sonic made me cry again. I saw him walk out with a girl. It made me hurt bad so I went to see Scourge on his house._

_"Aunt Melissa, is Scourge in?"_

_"Honey, he's on the __**club **__again."_

_I forgot to tell you. He is a playboy. But in my impression, he's a kind, loving and caring best friend ever.  
>I went to that club and saw many couples hanging out and making out.<br>Dirty people, I see. That's why I'm in a club right? I need to see him._

_I looked around the room but seen no sight of him. Hmm, I guess he's not here. I better go now before someone hurts me._

_I went out of the club and searched for him on the outside. I soon saw him on a place with two chicks.  
>I guess he's busy. I must go now. I don't want to be a hindrance.<em>

_As I was about to turn around, I got astonished to be able to look in his eyes. Our eyes met. I wonder if he'll come with me now that he saw how hurt I am._

_"Hey, Scourge" I smiled sadly at him_

_I was just looking at him for a moment. I felt mesmerized by his eyes. It feels like it pierces through my soul. I just want him to know the pain I really feel_

_I couldn't take it anymore. I need to run. I ran fast until the first and last teardrop falls. I was crying like rain now. I mean, who wouldn't cry if they saw they're loved one with someone else?_

_I went to my house, opened it harshly and went to my room, slamming it close, making my mother worried and asking me what happened._

_"It's nothing, mom"_

_"Alright"_

_She went to do her daily chores while I cry. I want to punch him. I want to let him know how hurt I was to see him smiling like that while holding a girl's hand._

_I want to be jealous but I have changed already. I want to be jealous but what are we? We're nothing but friends._


	9. Chapter 9

_CHAPTER 10_

_I went to the terrace and looked at the huge tree in front of me. Scourge, I need you so badly right now. But where are you? You're there with your little chicklings instead of your best friend!_

_*Sighs* I still can't help but like him. I don't know why but I do. I closed my eyes slowly, wanting him to hear me sing my soul out. Scourge, hear me out. Making me sing._

_WHEN I LOOK AT YOU_

_Everybody needs inspiration  
>Everybody needs a song<br>A beautiful melody  
>When the night's so long<br>Cause there is no guarantee  
>That this life is easy<em>

_When my world is falling apart  
>And there's no life to break down the door<br>That's when I look at you_

_When the waves are flooding the shore  
>And I can't find my way home anymore<br>That's when I look at you_

_ When I look at you  
>I see forgiveness<br>I see the truth  
>You've loved me for who I am<br>Like the stars hold the moon  
>Right there where they belong<br>And I know I'm not alone_

_When my world is falling apart  
>And there's no life to break down the door<br>That's when I look at you  
>When the waves are flooding the shore<br>And I can't find my way home anymore  
>That's when I look at you<em>

_I finished singing the song as I open my eyes. I was to look in his eyes. Our faces were so close and our lips were almost touching. Making me blush, I slapped my hand so that I can bring myself back to reality. He's a gay. Why bother blushing if his gay?_

_"Was that dedicated to me?" _

_I didn't answer because I was sure that I already sang that. De ja vu? De ja vu?_

_"Go away. I have no time for you and your handsome face" I said sarcastically as I slammed the door shut on his face._

_"I'm sorry, I love you" He said_

_"I love you too" _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

That was when he wasn't gay yet. I don't know if he is really gay or he's only acting that he is. I just think that he ain't guy

I hate to admit it but, I miss him being a guy and holding me in his arms, kissing me. Have I fallen for him? How about Sonic?

I don't really care about Sonic right now. I need to clear my mind. I need to get away from him. I must, I have to.

But before I do that. I'll have to ask him if he is really a homo. Before I go back to Tokyo, I'll finish this crap now.

I texted Scourge.

_"Come here. A.S.A.P"_

_"We need to talk"_

_"Before I leave"_

Text back, please.

"Honey, we have a visitor"

"Who is it?"

"**Erik"**

What is he doing here? Dafuq, get him outta here. I hate him. They'll be lovy dovy again. Eeew, gross

"I'll be there"

I went out of my room and went to the living room. I saw that Erik guy smiling at my mom, looking extra fly.

"Hey"

"Hi"

"How are the two of you?"

"Fine"

"Ready for tomorrow?"

What about tomorrow? DAHEQ? Maybe they're having a date or something. I might as well stay with Shane.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 11

"Mom, may I stay in Shane's house for a few weeks?"

"Sure, honey. But why?"

"We have a meeting to do"

"Alright.. There's food prepared on the table. Scourge's there too."

I smiled at her and Erik too as I excuse myself, I went to the dining room and saw Scourge there.  
>I felt myself gulp as I walk closer and slowly to the table.<p>

This is a perfect way of confronting him and it is perfect because it is only the two of us. I just don't know if I can do it.

I took a deep breath and said, "Hey" As I take me seat beside him.

"Hey" he replied back

"How was your day?"

"It's quite enjoying."

"Why?"

"I played with some chick and she was fooled pretty badly."

Wait a sec, is that chick he's talking about, me? Was I the foolish girl he was talking about?

"Really? How?"

"I pretended that I was gay and she just bought it and helped me be a guy again"

So I was just one of the girls he played around. I knew it, he was only pretending. Good thing I don't love him! But if I do, I would be crying right now.

Not to mention, my tears were falling right now. I didn't know that it was falling on the first place.

He looked at me and smiled, "Oh, yeah that girl was you. Sorry I didn't know. I must've gotten amnesia."

It hurts. I knew it. I shouldn't have believed on such an impossible thing on the first place. I let myself be a fool.

How could he? He pretended? Why? Was I worth it hurting? You pretended. But something in my mind says I have to do anything for love. The next words was shockingly said by me.

"I love you. Don't you remember? It doesn't affect me." I smiled even if the inside it hurts.

"Sure"

He doesn't care if I say that. When we were young, he wasn't like that. Why does it hurt that because of time, people change and even their stupid feelings

"So, you aren't really gay?"

"Tch, no I am not." Said by him

*Sighs* Why am I hurting? Why am I crying because of him? Have I fallen? I don't know

"Sure." I ate my food more like ate it fast. I need to get outta here, fast

"What's with the plan of having a sleepover in a few weeks with that girl?"

"You don't need to know." I harshly said as I finished my food and continued to drink water.

"Why not?" The person beside me asked

"…" I didn't replied because I immediately went to my room and packed my bags. He was not worth crying for. He was nothing in my life.

Or maybe have I fallen?

No, I don't think that's it. As I was packing, I felt someone hug me from behind. I felt the urge to laugh because it tickles.

"I'm sorry"

Huh? Where are all of this are coming from? One minute, he was cruel, then one minute he was sorry.  
>What is he? A Bipolar? =_=<p>

I turned around to look at him. He was sincere, but I somehow saw how fake his look is so I just shrugged him off. Another pain towards me. How fake can he be?

"You're nothing but fake." I said dully

"Yeah, how did you notice? You are so smart!" He said with sarcasm

"Tch, how hurt can you give me? Wanna know the truth of why I wanna stay over Shane's?''

He just nodded.

"It's because, I need some time to think about how I fell for you and how I wanted to be happy. "

"So?"

"I thought you were different, guess not" I hissed as I went downstairs to kiss mom on the cheek and waved goodbye.

You hurt me once, you'll never hurt me twice. I know, I love him. I need time to think. Time for myself. He was not worth it, but I'll still try.

Before I left, I turned around to see him standing in front of me. I looked at him with a smile.

"What are you doing here, gay best friend?"

"I'm not gay and I'm following you. What does it look like?''

"Oh, no! Don't follow me, it pains me to see you follow such a foolish girl like me" Sarcastic

"Erm, I'm sorry. Please stay?"

That's not enough. It's fine though so I can forget about him.

"Aww, you care? How sweet of you" Sarcastic

"…."

I kissed him on the lips and walked away. Going to Shane's house, yeah!  
>I already texted her, though.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 12

I hated how much Scourge can be a pretender, even to his best friend, or am I not a best friend to him at all?

I knew he was only pretending earlier. Why did I kiss him though? It's because I love him of course!

"I was supposed to say yes back then but he was only fooling around. Maybe he wasn't serious back then"

**Scourge's POV**

I was kissed by her for many times now. How do I feel? I feel nothing but every time I touch my lips, I always felt hers on mine.

It gives me that sparkling feeling that I hate. I don't want to feel this for her, even if we were in a arranged marriage shit.

I don't really mean that I hate her or anything. I just don't know what love is. I don't know. That sparkling feeling I feel when she kisses me, I don't know about that.

I just wanna, know who I am. I don't want to be with her. I don't love her.

Or is that what I really know? I went out to follow her because I wanted to annoy her. I'm not a pretender, I just don't understand what I'm feeling

I just want her to understand. I knew how much my attitude hurts her. I see her in pain every time.  
>Yeah, my mom told me to pretend but all this years, I felt something incredible.<p>

Something, so heavenly and something unbelievable. I can't explain this feeling. I hate it. I hate how much I don't understand it.

I went to follow her so I can understand this feelings. I see she was shocked to see me there when she turned around.

"What are you doing here, gay best friend?"

She called me gay. How rude. I just pretended to be so I can understand how I feel further. OH, the way she helps me.

The way she says yes, the way she smiles, the way she's beautiful and the way she makes me feel. Hey, am I smiling? Why?

"I'm not gay and I'm following you. What does it look like?''

"Oh, no! Don't follow me, it pains me to see you follow such a foolish girl like me" Sarcastic

I'm sorry for calling you a foolish girl. I just don't think first before I talk.

"Erm, I'm sorry. Please stay?" I tried saying sorry. I tried being sweet.

"Aww, you care? How sweet of you" Sarcastic

"…." I didn't respond because of how much sarcastic she is. But I was really shocked when she kissed me. That's when I started to realize, I was wrong when I accepted and did what mom told me to do when I was young.

_FLASHBACK_

_"Honey, I want you to pretend to be the best friend of Amy"_

_"WHY?"_

_"Because you have too and you must"_

_"Sure, but it'll cost you"_

_"How much?"_

_"A million dollar"_

_"Sure, just do your job"_

There is still something that makes me sorry and guilty. The fact that I was only supposed to pretend but my feelings changed. From nothing to something. It's too confusing, I cannot understand.

What am I doing out here? I saw her back being unseen. I don't know why but I had the urge to come to here but decided against it. I went to the club and saw my friend. Shadow .

"Oi"

"*SIGHS* This is so exhausting."

"Why? How?"

"Because I don't know what to do! Amy's been annoying all week! She's been kissing me and I hate it! I also feel this sparkling feeling that I hate. I hate it so much" I yelled exasperatedly

"Dude, I have a favor to ask:"

"What is it?"

"I want you to let her leave, forever." Shadow said smirking

Sure, but I can't. I can't do it. Why?

"Why do I have to? I don't want to." I replied looking sad

"I knew it. The answers to your problems, I know it"

"What is it?" Curiously, I asked

"You love her dude, you love her."

.HER?

Shocked face itched in my face. I do? I do love her?


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 13

=_= I can't believe it! So idiotic.

"No, that can't be"

"What do you mean?"

"Because I don't feel anything when….. Nevermind."

"What?"

"She's on her way to her friend's house and I don't think if I can take it. She's gonna spend a lot of time with her. I'll go crazy. I can't go a day without her."

"Make a move, dude. You must make a way so that she won't escape from you. But first of all, you must let her understand your own point of view"

The way he said that, it made shivers go down my spine.

Amy's POV

Shane! =3=

I cuddlewuddlesnuggled Shane into bed because I want to! =3=

We were here along ago chatting with each other. I was so happy that her father let me in! Her father looks like mine though. =/

Genesis Suitor. Papa, papa, papa.

"OI!"

I was shocked that Shane was shouting at me.

"What?"

"I've been asking how is with Scourge for the last two minutes and yet you still aren't talking! What's with the spacing out thing?"

CHAPTER 13

Huh? Even with me, I don't know why I've been spacing out

"I-I don't know"

"So, how's with Scourge?"

"He's fine." I said uncomfortably

"What's wrong?" She looked at me worriedly

"I've been thinking lately. I think I'm falling for him but he has this attitude that makes me wanna say, "Oh, I'm sorry for loving you" kinda thing. And he's being giving me that fooling around look that I don't understand."

As much as I hate it, I can't help but love him. Tch, stop it with the feelings, it sucks.

How will I stop? I hate this feeling. That's why I'm here right? To think about it.

"What do you think I'll do? Now that I love him, was the time he changed. Was the time he turned into a cold-hearted monster."

"You love him.. Right?"

Do I really? Or are this only false feelings? Maybe I am not really in love with him. I mean, how could you be if that person acts so cold towards you.

"Just like Sonic" I recalled

"Huh? Who's that?''

Oh, me and my big mouth. I should just stop it.

"No one"

"Eh? Who is he? Who is he? Who is he!" The curious Shane asked.

"All right"

_FLASHBACK_

_Hey, give me back my balloon!" screamed a little girl running for her balloon._

_"Not until you answer this important question I have! You have to say yes!" The boy said with a smile_

_ "What is it?" The girl asked innocently_

_The boy went down on one knee, holding up a ring and saying, "I know that we are too young but if you would give me a chance, I would be the best husband and I will love you for the rest of my life! This I ask, will you marry me?"_

_I was supposed to say yes but then someone came into view, another boy._

_"You know you two are too young for that, right?" The boy said _

_I looked at him feeling shivery but he felt my uncomfortableness so he talked_

_"It's Sonic, yours?" with a smirk_

_"Amy, and this is Scourge." I said while pointing at Scourge_

_We then hangout for a couple of times and I felt myself grow more closer to him than to Scourge._

_And just like that, I fell in love with Sonic. I was supposed to say yes but now, here I am. I'm hurt because of that guy._

_I should've said yes more earlier than meeting him so I can be locked on Scourge, unable to feel the hurt I feel now because of Sonic._

_"I was supposed to say yes"_

_"I was supposed to say yes"_

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"I was supposed to say yes but then he changed my mind. *Sighs* And now, I forgot about him and have fallen in love with that cruel person"

"Maybe he wasn't sure with his feelings."

No, he was always sure. I never thought I'd say this but, I don't wanna fall anymore but still, my heart says no. My heart says go but my mind

Oh my mind says the opposite. A battle with the mind and heart. It makes me confused as hell. I'd still give this a shot but if a grow tired, I'll finish now.

"I don't believe that he's not sure"

"Maybe he really doesn't like you"

"Yeah, that's the right term for it. He hates me, I know"

"How can you even be sure of that?"

"Because…. I just have a feeling that everything's fake"

"K, sure. In few weeks, what will be your plan?"

What plan? I didn't plan anything. Maybe I'll just hangout with her and with her father and little baby brother, Chivy.

"Just gonna hangout, chill"

"Okay, let's sleep" She turned off the lights and we went to bed. I opened my phone and saw the messages

"Where are you?"


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 14

"We need to talk"

I wonder what he wants now? I've really had enough for the day.. SO tiring, must sleep now.

_A girl on the age of fourteen, was standing on a balcony talking to some guy the same age as hers._

_"You shouldn't have done that. You know that it's bad!" the girl proclaimed_

_"I did this because I hate you! It was all your fault!" the guy pushed_

_"Why? What have I done? All I did was love you!" _

_"Love? How pathetic! In my side, I never knew what love is! It's just a pathetic word!"_

_The girl was taken aback by what he said, trying not to cry. Maybe the girl really loves that guy. She'll do anything just to make him love her back._

_Just like a doll, only facing him. Not even moving nor making a single nose. Why don't he just give his love to her? _

_The girl was trying to make the guy change his ways. "Why musn't you understand what love is? It's a simple word but, it has a deep meaning."_

_The girl spoke as of a soft and hidden word. She doesn't care how cold the guy is, well, she's not going to quit just yet, anyway._

_"Tch, I have no time for that love thing! Why bother when no one even cares about me. I am forever a heartless guy." The guy spat out_

_"Why must you try? When you've got it all around you. I care, I always do." The girl said as she caressed the guy's face._

_"I don't want you to care. I don't want you!" He stubbornly replied_

_She was hurt and in great pain but she wanted to try her last push. "I was always there when you were in need of comfort. I was always there! But why aren't you even noticing me? How can't you feel the love I've been giving you!"_

_The guy was astonished. He just heard her admit her feelings. I wonder what he'll do next.  
>"As I've said, I don't want you and I don't care about anything about you"<em>

_The girl's desperate face was changed into inadequacy. She turned around and bowed her head, feeling as hurt as she is._

_"I'm sorry. I'm very sorry but I've had enough of this. I've had enough of making you notice me but it doesn't turn out right. I'm sick and tired of you not understanding about how I feel. All you do is understand yourself. Be selfish, I'm done."_

_She walked away slowly and slowly as she quickly let her tears fall, unable to hold them anymore._

I found myself awaken due to the tears in my face. Daheq is with this tears? I don't understand!

"Shane!" I slapped her repeatedly because I want to ask her something

"SHANEEEEEEE"

"WHAAATTT? IT'S I THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, YOU ARE DISTURBING ME"

"Sorry, I'm just confused. I had a dream. More like a nightmare"

"Let's sleep first then we'll talk tomorrow." Cranky is she?

Oh darn it. She fell asleep the moment I talked to her. What a great friend. Sarcastic.  
>*BEEP*<p>

_Standing by my window, listening for your call _

_Seems I really miss you after all_

_ Time won't let me keep these sad thoughts to myself_

_I'd just like to let you know, I wish I'd never let you go_

_And I'll always love you_

_Deep inside this heart of mine I do love you_

_And I'll always need you  
>And if you ever change your mind<br>I'll still, I will love you_

_I wish you'd never left me but love's a mystery  
>You can break a heart so easily<br>Oh the days and nights reveal how much I feel for you  
>Time has come for me to see how much your love has meant to me<em>

_And I'll always love you And if you ever change your mind I'll still, I will love you_

_Time like a river keeps on rolling right on by_

_Nothing left for me to do So I watch the river rise_

_And I'll always love you_

_Deep inside this heart of mine I do love you_

_And I'll always need you And if you ever change your mind I'll still, I will_

_And I'll still, I will love you_

_Calling, Scourge_


	14. Chapter 14

_Chapter 15_

_Missed call._

_Calling, Scourge_

I picked it up and was about to yell at him for being such a great disturber when he knows what time is it right now, but was stopped by the tone and message he gave me.

"Well the truth is, I want you to go somewhere else to live in."

Hey, is this de ja vu or what?

"But why?" I asked. Is this a wrong move?

"Don't you understand? I want you outta here! I want you out of my life!"

It's so familiar, this conversation. I just can't put my finger on it

"Huh?"

"You are just a hindrance. Please, just go away. I don't want you in my life anymore."

"Did you call me just for this?"

"Yes"

"Is this where you're getting at? Is this it?!.I shouted unable to hide the pain I'm feeling.

"Well I'm VERY sorry for loving you! I'm sorry that I was stupid enough to let myself fall for you!"

"Oh, and yeah. Aunt Elizabeth died last night because she couldn't take the pain to herself." He added as unemotional and as dully as ever.

At this time, as a best friend, he was supposed to comfort me. How could he? I know, I kissed him and I know he doesn't feel anything but that doesn't mean that he has to say these kind of tings.

I want the old best friend back. He wasn't a best friend to me since I kissed him. It hurts.  
>Mom died? That one person that is to be by my side.<p>

I wonder what he feels? I wonder what he's thinking. Doesn't he know how hurt I am for all of this?

"Honestly, what kind of best friend are you? I am supposed to be wedded to you but now, we're fighting!"

"I don't care about that shit! I don't want to be married to a foolish girl like you! You were so persistic and annoying! That's why, Sonic never loved you! Your mom really didn't care about you! She loved her boyfriend more than you! And now, she died!"

I don't know what to say anymore. I didn't know what to say. I just slept. Slept uncomfortable and ungentle.

_Are you happy now? That this girl is hurt. That this girl has nothing else in her life. You already knew that she died in the first place and you already knew that. _

_Didn't you know how I felt because of that? I'm alone. I thought I was with you till now but again, I was completely wrong._

_You never listen. Even when we were young. It was always you that was the leader. It was always you in showing the way._

_You were like the leader and I was the girl, the foolish and clumsy girl who follows. When will I learn to stan up for myself?_

_All I know is, every time he smiles? It was always fake. Because when he looks at the other girls, it was different._

I shouldn't have listened . I shouldn't have met him. I shouldn't have…. There are so many "I shouldn't have"

I'll just leave it all to this song.

Without a Word

_I shouldn't have done that  
>I should've ignored it<br>Like something I could not see  
>Like something I cannot see<br>Ah... yeah  
>I shouldn't have ever looked at you<br>I should've ran away  
>I should've acted like I didn't hear<br>Like something I could not hear  
>Like something I cannot hear ah... yeah...<br>I shouldn't have listened to my heart at all  
>Without a word<br>You showed me what love is  
>Without a word<br>You gave me your love  
>You even made me hold my breath<br>Waiting for you  
>But you ran away like this<br>Without a word, you left me  
>Without a word, you threw me away <em>


	15. Chapter 15

_16_

_What should I say next?  
>My closed lips were surprised<br>Coming without words_

_Why does it hurt so much?  
>Why does it keep on hurting me?<br>Even though you're not here anymore  
>Though everything is the same<br>Without a word  
>You showed me love<em>

_Without a word  
>You gave me your love<br>You made me hold my breath  
>Waiting for you<br>But you run away like this  
>Without a word, you left me<br>Without a word you threw me away  
>What should I say next?<br>My closed lips were surprised  
>Without a word my tears fell<br>Without a word my heart breaks_

_Without a word, I will wait for your love  
>Without a word, I'm hurt because of love<br>I zone out  
>I became a fool<br>I cried as I look up at the sky  
>Without a word, goodbyes found me<br>Without a word, goodbyes came to me  
>I think my heart was surprised<br>I couldn't even prepare to send you away  
>Without a word it came<br>Without a word it went  
>Without a word it left<br>Like a fever before  
>I'll only hurt you for a while<br>And will only left you scars in the end_

_I'm too tired of this shit. I'm so tired. I can't breathe anymore. He didn't feel anything. I wanted to be there for him. I just want him to love me._

_Suddenly, I had the urge to visit him and see him again. Why, I wonder. I don't know why but I cried, I was alone, crying and calling out to him._

_But no, he was only there, acting like a stone as ever._

_When will he learn ro see me?_

_When will he learn to understand?_

_When will he learn to open his heart and let me go closer to it?_

_When will he get it?_

_When will he learn to love me?_

_When will he let me comfort him/_

_When WILL he look me in the eyes caringly and softly?_

_When will he let me be close to him?_

There are so many questions in my head. I kept waiting and waiting, it seems that I'm getting tired now of a never-ending wait.

He only looks at them, I'm right here, doesn't he know? If only he could turn his head just a little, he could see me.

I was only one step behind him, will he forever be unable to see me? While looking in my eyes, speaking from the heart.

When will it be?

When will I get the love I deserve?

When will he care?

*BEEP*

Someone texted me. But even if I hope it was him, even if I want it to be him, in the end, it was never him. That's why it hurts so much.

When?

Every time I ask, I never get the answers. Every time I want someone to answer my questions, it never was give.

Always an empty shell. AN empty shell with many space that were not filled. People don't understand my depression, I was just left alone.


	16. Chapter 16

And now I wanna give up but I can't because I'm still here in this space. I wanna state my response, I wanna talk but I can't because I'm alone.

I'm alone in this place. That one person I've been counting on for years had changed. My mother, won't ever understand me because she is too, another one of my problems.

All my life I've been thinking that I wasn't alone because I had a best friend, I never knew that up to this point, he was also one of the persons who broke me

Another case, Sonic. That person I fell for and now it changed. My heart fell to that cold-hearted jerk named Scourge.

I just wanna forget about everything. I just wanna forget them. Everything. All of them. I honestly don't want to be here anymore.

I just want it to stop. I wanna end all of this suffering at once. I want my mom to take a dose of her medicine, I want to say sorry to Scourge, I want to find my dad.

At least my dad never hurts me, right? Oh yeah, he hurt me too because he left. I wanna find him though. I miss those fatherly times when I was small.

I have no idea what to do anymore. I just wanted to be happy with my life. Nothing happy happened.  
>Maybe, my life will e like this forever. I should just die. I should just give up.<p> 


End file.
